..OVER THE PAST YEAR..

WITHIN THE PAST YEAR..MANY THINGS HAVE CHANGED WITHIN MY LIFE..FIRST AND FOREMOST RAY AND I GOT MOVED OUT OF OUR "COMFORT ZONE" BUT I'M REALLY GLAD WE GOT TO EXPERIENCE THIS TOGETHER AND I BELIEVE THAT IT MADE US GROW TOGETHER AND BECOME MORE OF ADULTS(FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD)..WHILE I'VE ALWAYS LOOKED FORWARD TO THIS MOMENT..WHERE THE WHOLE WORLD IS AT MY FINGERTIPS..IT SEEMS LACKLUSTER..LOOKING BACK..IT IS EASY TO SEE ALL THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT I'VE LET FALTER..PEOPLE I'VE LET SUFFER..AND DECISIONS THAT HAVE INEVITABLY HURT ME OR OTHERS IN THE PROCESS..REGRETTABLY..A COUPLE MONTHS AGO I LOST TOUCH WITH THE SOURCE OF MY POWER IN LIFE..THE THING THAT MAKES ME TICK AND ULTIMATELY I LOST TOUCH WITH MYSELF..IN THAT REALIZATION I COULDN'T HELP BUT WONDER AT THE END OF THE DAY WERE WE JUST ANOTHER DAY OLDER..??..

MOVING UP TO PENNSYLVANIA ENDED UP BEING A GRAND JOURNEY WITH THE BEST PERSON I KNOW AND COUNT AS MY INNER CIRCLE(HE IS MY HUSBAND FOR A REASON)..IN ARRIVING TO OUR ARID DESTINATION..LIFE PAUSED..JOBS SEEMED TO BE SO HARD FOR ME TO FIND UP HERE(SEEING THAT I AM VERY PICKY WHERE I WORK)THERE WERE NONE..SUCKING UP MY PRIDE AND FORGETTING ABOUT THE PAST 9 MONTHS OF HARD WORK I DID AT MY LAST JOB THAT I LOVED VERY MUCH(IGNORING SOME OF THE ANNOYING AND OBNOXIOUS PEOPLE I WORKED WITH)I RENEWED MY FOUNDATION IN THE ALL SO FAMILIAR HOUSEWIFE(NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING AT ALL WRONG WITH BEING A HOUSEWIFE THERE ARE TONS OF PERKS BUT I HONESTLY DON'T THINK ITS FOR ME)..UNDER THE SURFACE THOUGH MY WALL OF CONFIDENCE WAS SLOWLY BEING CHIPPED AWAY BUT LUCKLY I FOUND MYSELF ONCE AGAIN THANKS TO SOME PRETTY AMAZING FRIENDS THAT I KNOW.

SECONDLEY..IMPLANTING YOURSELF IN A CULTURE UNLIKE YOUR OWN MAY LOOK EASY ON THE OUTSIDE BUT IT REALLY IS DIFFICULT WHEN YOU ARE DEALING WITH MEETING NEW PEOPLE OR JUST FINDING COMMON GROUND..

THERE IS A SCHISM BETWEEN THE NORTHERNERS AND SOUTHERNERS BEHAVIOURS AND IDEAS..ALTHOUGH WE LIVE ONLY 6 HOURS AWAY FROM HOME THINGS ARE DIFFERENT..I DO ENJOY A NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN BUT MODERATION HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY SAVIOR..SITTING AT HOME WITH OLD FRIENDS AND SHOOTING THE GOSSIP AROUND IS FAR MUCH MORE APPEALING TO ME THAN KNOCKING BACK A COUPLE SIX PAKCS FOR BREAKFAST..WHERE DO FUTURE GOALS OR VIEWS ON FAMILY FIT INTO THE CRITERIA FOR A POTENTIAL FRIEND..??..ALTHOUGH EVERYONE HAS SLIP UPS(MYSELF INCLUDED)I CAN'T HELP BUT PITY INDIVIDUALS WHOSE LIVES REVOLVE AROUND WHICH BAR HAS THE 2 FOR 1 SPECIAL EVERDAY OF THE WEEK OR HOW PLASTIC THEY CAN LOOK IN THE MIRROR..PERHAPS I'M CONSERVATIVE(I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT)NOTICE I DIDN'T SAY REPUBLICAN..HAHA..OR PERHAPS I'M BRAINWASHED FROM AFTER SCHOOL SPECIALS TELLING CHILDREN THAT THEY ARE PERFECT OR BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY THEY ARE BUT SINCE WHEN DO PEOPLE HAVE TO POISON THEMSELVES OR CARVE THEIR FACES TO FIT IN..??..

REASONABLY..I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT CONTENT OF SOMEONES CHARACTER OR PERSONALITY MATTERS MORE THAN THE LENGTH OF THEIR EYELASHES(ALTHOUGH I DO LOVE MY MAKEUP)..MOST OF YOU WILL PROBABLY AGREE WITH ME ON THIS BUT THE ABILITY TO SENSE THE DEPTH OF SOMEONE IS VERY IMPORTANT..ALTHOUGH THIS MAY SOUND AS IF NO GOOD HAS COME FROM THE PAST YEAR..I DO HAVE TO POINT OUT THAT I HAVE FOUND ALLIES ALONG THE WAY..SOME OF WHICH ARE DISILLUSIONED WANDERERS JUST LIKE ME..NOW WHEN WE DRIVE DOWN THE ROAD I PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE LICENSE PLATES ON CARS AND EVERYTIME A FAMILIAR WEST VIRGINIA PLATE GOES BY I REMEMBER THE LOVED ONES BACK HOME..

SO IN MY PASSING UP HERE IN GOOD OL' PA I BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND AND APPRECIATE THE HAPPINESS THAT I HAVE FOUND HERE IN THE LAND OF YANKS..WHILE IT MAY NOT BE IDEAL TO WHAT RAY AND I WANTED WE HAVE LEARNED TO GROW AND LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER..

OVER THE PAST YEAR IF I'VE LEARNED ANYTHING..ITS THAT NOTHING IS EVER BLACK AND WHITE..AND YOU COMFORT THE PEOPLE WHO MATTER TO YOU..EVEN IF THEY SEEM OKAY..YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT SILENT TROUBLE PLAGUE THE LIVES OF THOSE CLOSE TO YOU..GIVING A HUG OR A SMILE NEVER CAN BE A NEGATIVE THING..ATTEMPTING TO CHANGE THE WORLD AROUND YOU FOR THE BETTER IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS..

..AT THE END OF THE DAY..